You
write letters to request information, request action, provide information
or describe an event, decline a request, and express appreciation.
When you write letters to the school, you want to express concerns and
educate your reader about your child’s problems.
You want your letters to create a good first impression. This article, 12 Rules for Writing Great Letters, will help you accomplish your
objectives. 12 Rules is the companion article to The Art of Writing Letters.
1. Before you write a letter, you need answer these questions.
Why?
Why am I writing? What am I trying to accomplish?
What? What do I want? What are my goals?
Get
three blank sheets of paper.
On the first sheet write "WHY? Why am I writing this letter?"
On
the second sheet write "WHAT? What are my goals in writing this letter?"
On
the third sheet write "Other Thoughts."
Brainstorm.
Write down your thoughts. Make lists.
Don’t worry about writing in sentence or prioritizing. Your goal is to
dump your thoughts from your brain onto these sheets of paper. Write down
any additional ideas and thoughts on the third sheet of paper. You will
write down your important thoughts in less than ten minutes. Do not allow
yourself to obsess about details. You are interested in the Big Picture.
2. Your First Letter is Always a Draft
You
write letters to:
(1) make a request
(2) clarify
an event
(3)
decline a request
(4)
express appreciation
(5)
create a paper trail
Some
letters have more than one purpose. Because letters you write to schools
are so important, you need to do it right.
If
you anticipate resistance, you may begin by telling a story to get the
reader's interest. Let’s see how Kathryn’s mother used the story telling
method to begin an important letter to the school:
I’d
like to share a story about Kathryn with you. This year, when Kathryn
turned four, we had a birthday party for her. She looked very grown-up
in her pink dress. More than a dozen friends from pre-school and dance
class came to her party. You can imagine what this was like.
The
children were laughing, singing, shouting, and creating a huge ruckus.
We had a big chocolate birthday cake. The children were covered with
icing.
As
we watched our daughter with her friends, we felt so proud of her. She
was laughing, shouting, giggling with her friends. Only we knew how
hard she worked for this day.
Kathryn
is hard of hearing. With hearing aids, she can hear at almost the same
level as normal children. But if Kathryn had gone into the public school
program with hearing impaired children, she wouldn’t be able to have
a birthday party with friends who laugh, and sing, and shout.
In
the public school program, the children don’t learn how to sing or shout
or speak. Their classroom is very quiet. If we had allowed her to attend
the public school program, Kathryn would have learned to communicate
through sign language and lip reading.
All of Kathryn’s friends communicate by oral speech, not sign language.
Kathryn would not be able to speak, listen, giggle with her friends.
Do
you see how Kathryn’s mother begins her letter "I’d like to share a story
with you . . ."
Gradually, the letter shifts as the mother makes her case. She leads the
reader into agreeing that placing Kathryn in a class where children don’t
speak or listen is not appropriate.
3. Allow for "cooling off" and revision time.
After
you write the first draft, put your letter away for a few days. DO NOT
SEND IT!
Firing
off a letter is one of the most common mistakes parents make. You must
give "cooling off" and revision time. Later, parents say "But they said
I had to respond right away . . ."
Ninety-nine
percent of letters from the school system DO NOT
require you to respond immediately.
A "cooling-off period" allows you to look at your letter more objectively.
If you send a letter without allowing for "cooling off" and revision time,
you’ll probably damage your credibility and your position. Sometimes,
this damage is impossible to repair.
4. You negotiate with the school for special education services.
As
you are learning, you negotiate with the school for special education
services. If you are negotiating with the school for special services
or with a car dealer for a car, the principles are the same. You never
begin negotiations by telling the other side what your "bottom line" is.
In
negotiations with schools, parents often make the mistake of being too
open. Parents think they have to share everything with the school
- immediately. They hope that by sharing everything, they’ll be
rewarded with the help their child needs. This doesn’t happen.
You
need to share the results of all evaluations and any other new information
with the school, as soon as you receive it. However, you do not need to
share your wish list or your bottom line.
5. Never threaten. Never telegraph your punches!
You’ll
remember that in the first chapter of this Tactics section, the parents
wrote two letters. In their first letter, they made several threats. In
their second letter, they made no threats, and told their story in a compelling
way. If you make threats (i.e., "we’re going to call our lawyer"), you
may experience temporary relief but you’ll pay a high price later.
Fear of the Unknown
As
a negotiator, one of the most powerful forces you have on your side is
the "Fear of the Unknown." When you threaten, you are telling the other
side what you plan to do. If you tell them what you plan to do, you have
told them how to protect themselves. At that moment, you lose your advantage
- which is the wonderful, powerful Fear of the Unknown. Never telegraph
your punches – you will destroy their power and effectiveness.
You
went to the doctor to get the results of your annual physical, including
your lab work. As your doctor, I come in and tell you that:
The
results of your blood work are very concerning. However, I’m behind
schedule right now. We need to admit you to the hospital as soon as
bed space is available - probably tomorrow or the next day. I don’t
have time to discuss the results with you right now. I’m behind schedule
and have other patients waiting. I’ll be in to talk with you after you
are admitted.
Fear.
Panic. What happens now? You’ll imagine the worst case scenario.
Power of Information
Now,
let’s change the facts. You are at the doctor’s office to get the results
of your physical. As your doctor, I come in and tell you that:
Some
of your blood work is not clear. It’s probably only ABC and if it is
ABC, we have nothing to worry about. The worst case scenario is that
you have XYZ. XZY is inconvenient but it’s certainly not life threatening.
Nine times out of ten, people have ABC. However, it’s still important
for us to rule out XYZ.
Unfortunately,
we can’t run the additional tests here. We just aren’t equipped to do
it. So, we need to send you to the hospital where they have more sophisticated
equipment. We can schedule your admission tomorrow or the next day.
This is not so important that we have to do it today.
Can
you feel the difference?
When
you know what you’re facing, is your fear as intense? No.
If
you don’t fill in answers – if you don’t telegraph your punches - then
the fear of the unknown will force the other side to attribute more power
to you. Because they’ll be in the "fear of the unknown," they’ll wonder
what you’re going to do – and they’ll imagine a worst case scenario.
6. Make several (unpleasant but necessary) assumptions.
Assume that you
will not be able to resolve your dispute. Assume that you wil have to
request a special education due process hearing. Assume that you will
not be able to testify at the hearing, or tell your side of the story.
These
are important assumptions. These assumptions are the keys to successful
letter writing. Assume things will get worse. Assume that success in securing
an appropriate program and services for your child depends on how well you describe the events that
caused you to write to the school.
The letters you write now may sit in your child’s file for months or years.
If things blow up later, these letters can be the most compelling evidence
in your favor. Bob’s letter at the beginning of this chapter shows how
letters can work against you.
7. Make your problem unique.
If
you are writing a letter about a specific problem (i.e., a teacher’s refusal
to follow an IEP), present your situation as unique. You want the person
who reads your letter to see your problem as different. You want them
to think "Wow! We’ve never had this problem before!"
By
presenting your problem as unique, you’re trying to avoid "We ALWAYS handle
ABC situations this way. We ALWAYS have handled ABC situations this way.
We ALWAYS will handle ABC situations this way. We can’t make exceptions
for you."
If
you present your situation as unique, it won’t be listed in the Bureaucrat’s
Big Book of Rules and Procedures. Remember: bureaucracies are inflexible
and rule-bound. By presenting your situation as unique, you can sometimes
get people in the system to see things differently. If they see things
differently, they may be able to handle things differently.
8.
You ARE writing letters to a Stranger who has the power to resolve the problem. (You are NOT writing letters to
the school alone.)
When
you write a letter to the school, you are really writing a "Letter to
the Stranger." Why?
You have to assume that someone outside the school
system will decide this issue. This person will have no personal knowledge about or interest
in you and your child. This person doesn't know or care what "program" your child
is enrolled in.
The person may be the school board attorney who advises the school
district to settle the case. The person is more likely to be a hearing
officer, Administrative law judge, or a Judge in state or federal court.
When
you write letters, keep this Stranger in your mind’s eye. Who is this
Stranger? What does he look like? How does he think?
Visualize the Stranger as an older person who has worked hard all his life. He is conservative,
fair, and moderately open minded. He knows that life is often difficult and unfair.
He doesn’t have patience with whiners or complainers. He’s far more sympathetic
to people who have a plan to solve their problems. He dresses casually. When
he sits down to read your letter, he may sip a cup of tea and light his
pipe.
The
Stranger doesn’t know you, your child, or your situation. Your letter
gives you an opporunity to persuade the the Stranger to see the justice of your cause.
When you describe the problem, you are also telling the Stranger what can be done to make things right.
Judges
are Strangers. Most judges are not knowledgeable about special education
issues or children with disabilities. When you write letters, you are also trying
to educate and inform this decison-maker.
9. Write letters to the school as business letters.
When you write
business letters, you state facts that support your position or request
(your brain). You do not demand, threaten, ventilate anger or
frustration (your emotions).
If
you are writing an important letter to the school, you want it
to be smooth,
polished, and professional. Begin your letter chronologically
and develop
it chronologically. To see how this is done, go back and read
the original "Letter to the Stranger" at the beginning of this section.
The letter
began like this:
Dear
Mr. So and So:
We
received a letter from you dated February 1, and were very perplexed
by the content.
To
put my letter into the proper context, let me go back to the beginning
. . .
Do
not attack or express overt anger. Resist the urge to take cheap
shots. If you don't resist, they will come back to haunt you.
10. NEVER make judgments.
"What
a jerk you were! You didn't have enough guts to be straight-up with us!"
NO!
NEVER
be judgmental. You want the Stranger to be interested, not defensive or anxious. Provide
factual information, then let the Stranger draw conclusions. You want
the Stranger to conclude "What a jerk!" on his own.
11. Write your letter chronologically.
When you tell a story, you tell the story chronologically. Your objective is to
write a letter than is interesting, and easy to follow.
Remember,
when you write a letter to the school, this is your chance to "present
your case" and tell your story. The Stranger won’t know the background
or history unless you provide this information. You can provide background
information very naturally and easily by starting at the beginning and writing the letter chronologically.
For
example: "On DATE, our son entered your program because . . .
You
can move the clock earlier if this helps you tell the story. "We realized
that our daughter had serious problems when she was unable to communicate
by her third birthday."
Where
should you begin? Begin where you want. You know when
the story "began." Continue to tell your story. "When she started school . . ."
When you tell the tory, use your facts. Select your facts
carefully and keep your opinions to a minimum. As you tell the story,
you are planting seeds in the memories of all Strangers who will read your letter
later.
There
is another reason to write your letter chronologically. If you jump from issue to
issue, the reader will get confused, then frustrated. Readers have negative
reactions to people who write letters that are hard to follow. The Stranger
is likely to get annoyed and angry with you if he can’t figure out your point. If the
Stranger gets frustrated, he will quit reading – and he’ll blame you for
this frustration. You don’t want this to happen.
12. Write letters that are clear and easy to understand.
Letters
provide you with an opportunity to make your case and create
a positive impression. The impression you make
depends on how you present and express yourself.
We
don’t like to think that our writing skills need improving. Unless you
are a professional writer or editor, you will need to improve
your writing skills in four areas: clarity, brevity, interest, and accuracy.
ALWAYS
read your letters aloud. This is a valuable tip from professional editors.
ALWAYS have at least one outside person read your
letters. Your "reader" should be someone who will tell you the truth,
especially when
you did not make things clear or you need to tone the letter
down.
Ask
your "reader" to pretend that he or she is a Stranger. You want your reader
to tell you if answered the three questions we listed at the beginning
of this chapter:
- Why are your writing?
- What is the point you want to make?
- What
do you want?
The answers
to these three questions must be clear. After your "Stranger" has read the draft
of your letter, ask the person to answer these questions. If your reader
cannot answer these questions, you haven’t expressed yourself
clearly.
Source:http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/articles/12rules_letters.htm
